When Did Frank Miller Decide to Suck?

Answer: His movie, The Spirit.

Sin City was the best live-action adaptation of a comic book. By that I mean that he, Tarantino and Rodriguez perfectly translated what was so visually striking about the graphic novel into the motion picture.

This, unfortunately, brought Miller back to filmmaking with a renewed sense of self-importance. What it failed to do was teach him the very simple lesson: every god-damned fuckin’ movie shouldn’t look exactly like Sin City.

And, speaking of “more of the same,” whereas I can forgive the film faux pas, Holy Terror, Miller’s latest comic creation, is a blasphemy I can’t forgive. As I read it I kept thinking, “Seriously? What the fuck?”

The Fixer: Stickin' to the Fans

I read somewhere Miller pitched Holy Terror as a Batman story, to which DC rightfully said, “UHM... Maybe this is a better fit elsewhere.” Keep in mind, the brain trust at DC thought that killing Batman and then have him return via time travel douche buggery to become Team American, I mean, Batman Incorporated, was a good idea. Despite their intellectual deficiency, even these yahoos that recognized that Holy Terror was crap.

Legendary Comics, a subsidiary of Legendary Films, on the other hand, thought Holy Terror was a great idea. They took this bucket of diarrhea and produced a beautiful, $30 hardcover graphic novel. The book aesthetics is the only nice thing I can say about Holy Terror.

What I can say is, normally when I get fucked in the ass, I like a bit of preparation, some wine and some sort of lubricant, even if it’s just spit. Holy Terror provides none of these requirements.

Holy Terror is so belatedly obvious a Batman story that I pee blood when I think about the gall with which this is passed off as something else. It’s a story that’s changed the names to protect Miller from copyright infringement. The plot: Batman (The Fixer) and Cat Woman (unnamed cat burglar) have joined forces to fight off the biggest disaster to threaten Gotham (Empire City) since The Gays, i.e. Muslim Terrorists. 

Done right, this could have been an interesting story. Too bad Miller just wanted to blow patriotic smoke up our asses.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the art is such a straight re-hash of the Dark Knight comics, inked black and white with a splash of color like Sin City, that I could only stand to read the graphic novel a couple pages at a time before my blood pressure cooked up to critical. 

Thirty bucks for what’s basically a re-imagining of Dark Knight, inked and colored like Sin City. Hmmm. What a creative genius that Miller is. I remember when Miller's panties were all in knots when the powers of hollywood screwed up his Robocop? I guess it's OK when Miller does it.

No, you know what? Fuck you, Miller! I want my $30, and my time, back.

Miller said that this is "bound to offend just about everybody." I’m sure he thinks it’s because he’s pushing the political correct boundaries with his “piece of propaganda.” Reality check, dumbass. People will be pissed off because it sucks.

So, if you haven’t purchased a copy of Holy Terror, don’t. I can’t imagine backwoods red-neck idiots liking this garbage, even with the “kill the muslim bastards” zeitgeist crap he espouses. Miller isn't making a Dirty Harry tough guy who's stickin' it straight to the bad guys, he's just lining his pockets by fucking over the audience that rightfully expects so much more.